05 November 2006
Deep Thoughts
I have something to confess:
I'm a big hypocrit.
Hypocrits are people that don't do what they preach. In other words, they don't walk the talk.
And sometimes, I don't walk the talk. Sometimes, it's more like I don't walk the read. Okay, it may be confusing now. But it's like, I know what I'm suppose to do, I read that from the Bible, and since Christians are suppose to preach the Word, but I'm not doing the things that I'm suppose to be doing. So, that makes me an A-class hypocrit.
Sigh.
Am I suppose to comfort myself and say that it's okay, I'm learning...but what has God said? What did Jesus called the Pharisees who scores 200% for their hypocricy? Vipers!
No! I musn't let myself be succumbed to being blind. I thought I was critical, but sometimes I know my weaknesses well...and I know how am I suppose to change them. So, am I saying that God isn't a forgiving God? NO! He is...but He also warned about disobedience.
Is it all very confusing?
Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, I feel like giving up and live another life. Ironically, I want to live a godly live. So, there isn't anyway that I can throw God behind my back and walk off. It's almost unthinkable. I can forget Him, but I can't run away from Him.
It's not like God has me in a death grip. Hey, I'm still very alive here. Even so, when I am in church, sitting down, observing people around me, I cannot feel anything but a kind of remorse. Including me, many Christians are not doing anything more than going to church, getting involved in activities and whatever else. What happened to reaching out to the downs and out? Just because the apostle Paul didn't seem to be like doing those things, does that mean Paul is less holy than those whom, like Peter, took the hands of the dead girl and raised her up? No! I believe every Christians have their own calling.
Some are more compassionate, they will go and help the poor and the sick and the needy. Some less compassionate. But love is not a spiritual gift. It's a spiritual fruit. It's listed as the first fruit of the Spirit in Galatians. Love, like a fruit, needs to nurture and be cultivated.
Jesus, please teach me how to be light of the world. When You were still on earth as a human, Your presence alone let people come to You and seek Your help. Now, the light and salt seemed to be diminishing. Am I becoming like the Israelites? That I am hearing Your voice but not listening to it? Obedience is better than sacrifice, You have spoken. I cry out to You so many times, help me to be obedient. Please don't turn a deaf ear to me. Hear me from heaven and help me Lord. All I want to do is just be more like Jesus and less like me. It is through Your love that I experience true freedom. It's all about You. Not about me. You must increase, and I decrease. Let me be obedient to Your word, or I shall be like a resounding gong, loud noise but no action. Amen.
Posted by rebekah at 9:10 PM
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